By Ralph Scoville

After finishing his 2 terms as arguably the most popular governor in NJ history, Tom Kean Sr. continued his public service as the President of Drew University for 15 years.  From Governor of a state that financially bankrolls the country to President of a school that intellectually challenges our country, a fitting transition indeed.

As Governor, the brilliant slogan “NJ and You, perfect together” was launched.  As Drew continues to propel outstanding individuals into the society of countries around the globe, through its many youth programs, Morris Rugby continues to propel outstanding scholar-athletes to schools such as Drew, to advance the betterment of our sport as well as our country.  I think I can speak for the entire Fitness Committee when I suggest that Morris Rugby and Drew are purrrfect together.  (need to include the extra “r’s” for the Tom Kean effect).

As always, the weather for was purrrrrfect for rugby.  However, with the blustery winds kicking up our kilts, it would be a tad bit chilly for the post-match social.  As if reading our minds, Drew Facilities put in a request to Janice Huff to turn up the thermostat in preparation for the social.  As Janice is a proud resident of nearby Denville, she quickly acceded to our request.  Whilst waiting for the clouds to break and expose the sun, it was only appropriate that we kicked off to commence the game.

With Morris Rugby as the host for this palooza, the Village Lions offered their shirts to play as the Washington Generals. The pitch was replete with Drew Rugby players and alumni, both playing and spectating.  The existing Drew team stood with mouths agape, as they were able to see living legends before their eyes.  I am sure the glassy look in their eyes was merely due to our presence and not to the Sloppy Saturday event that was occurring at a nearby dorm.

However, a funny thing happened on the way to the Drew Forum.  Apparently this was the designated day for the Generals to best the Globetrotters, as we were soundly defeated.

With the opening kickoff soon going into touch, the hectoring and advice of the players to the indefatigable ref Lil started immediately and quickly flowed to the shell-shocked touch judge.  Soon thereafter, the Villagers would score and the rout was on.  After a quick 2 try lead, Pinky Toe did score to cut the lead, but the Lions would score 2 more to close out the 1st period ahead 20-5.

It was after this 1st period, whilst seeing the back of the Lions jerseys running away from me, that I noticed this anomaly. The Drew pitch was lush and soft, but short.  Obviously, the Lions had more runners with short-burst muscles, which are ideal to play on a short pitch that emphasizes speed.  The Morris contingent was mainly comprised of long-twitch muscles, more suited to longer fields.  Had we played on a regulation length field, no doubt we would have prevented those Lion scoring runs by catching them from behind.

The 2nd period commenced and the lopsided play continued.  One moment of inspiration was provided by Famous Seamus.  As the ball went into touch, he noticed that the Lions slept tonight (Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh). He quickly picked up the ball and passed in the Dave “the Dad” Kettner, who pranced in for an easy try.  Henrik roared his approval…. Or maybe it was just to notify Dad that his diaper was soiled.

As we got ready for the 3rd, the barking at the Ref and Touch judges was greatly diminished.  Not sure if it was the delivery of the scrumptious sammiches from Zio Gino’s, the waiting keg of Dos Equis Ambar for rehydration purposes, or the unmatched excellence of the ref, but everyone mostly shut up and played rugby.  Both teams were probably just tired from all the scoring.

Early in the 3rd, the ref had a question on who scored for Morris.  In the 1st period, the Mayor’s angular face was given another angle.  His modeling career shot, Mike had no choice but to stuff some tissues up his nostrils and keep playing. He did leave some DNA evidence on the pitch.  Lil quickly summoned the labs of the crack Drew Biology labs and was able to follow the blood trail and confirm from the evidence that Mike had indeed scored the try.

Fireman Phil from LI scored for us, as did Pinky again.  When it was all over, the visiting Lions scored a lot and we score somewhat less.  Still, it was a glorious day that no one wasted playing golf, so it was a purrrrfect day.

The good news from todays game is that we were quick to the breakdown and win the ruck.  The bad news is that we invented new ways to lose the ball after winning possession.  As they say on the Beeb, we will have to “sort it out” and “tidy things up a bit” at our next practice.

After the match, the current team and Drew legends would join us for the social.  One Drew alum was there with his gorgeous white Samoyed.  I could not help but notice him barking next to my leg.  Greg Leuser, the proud owner, intoned, “not to worry.  The dog is taking his cue from Joe Biden and merely asking for permission before he starts humping your leg.”

Thus concludes another purrrrrrfect day.  Before I close, I would like to thank Heineken for providing the nourishing post-match carbohydrates.  I would also like to thank Drew for the use of their pitch again this year.  It continues to be the best pitch we play on and all the players look forward to returning.

Until next time, this is your intrepid reporter signing out.

Posted in Masters