On a glorious overcast day at the edge of Newark Bay, Bayonne would host the final palooza of the Spring 2017 season. Coming off 2 days with the temperatures prematurely pushing 90, the 60-ish weather was a welcome relief. Morris and Bayonne would each supplement their sides with members of the Village Lions, Gentlemen of NY and Long Island. There was an abundance of players. People are saying there were at LEAST 1.5 million reserves ready and kitted up.
Much has been made this week of the President giving up classified information to the Russians. It could have been much worse. He could have given them the Colonel’s own special blend of 11 herbs and spices. C’mon, The Leaker-in-Chief cannot give everything to Vladimir Putin. He has to save SOMETHING for Kim Jung-un.
I followed the direction of POTUS and met with Connie of Bayonne prior to our match and provided our scrum put-in calls and line-out codes. As I am co-chairman of the Masters Fitness Committee, it was absolutely within my rights to do so.
With the harbor cranes working feverishly in the background, the game would commence. Early in the first period, it would quickly become evident that we were battling 2 opponents yesterday: Bayonne . . . and Danny Marain’s kicking. There were so many lame ducks coming off his boot, I was afraid that Donna Waliky would pop up from behind the breakwater with her 12 gauge and start blasting!
Bayonne would jump out to an early 7-0 lead, but for the first time since the Obama administration, Morris would respond. Using his long strides, our #10 (courtesy of Village Lions?) would high-step his way through the Bombers and touch it down. The conversion failed, but we were back in the game. We kept the action in the Bayonne end most of that period, but it was almost like a wall was built to keep us out.
The combination of fresh and YOUNG legs helped keep Morris on the attack in the 2nd stanza. As usual, Long Island Ralph was running like a stag in rut. Several long runs from Ralph, Aussie Mick and Danny would wear down Bayonne and change us from defending to attacking quicker than Donald Trump can undercut his apologists. After Ralph scored and Mick added the conversion, Morris would grab the lead 12-7. We would continue to attack. Another try (not sure who) and Mick’s conversion, and we would close out the 2nd ahead 19-7.
Early in the 3rd, the L.I.R. (that would be Long Island Ralph) would snatch an errant Bomber pass and with Danny’s conversion, Morris would increase our lead to 26-7. But the game was far from over. Our hosts would keep pressuring Morris and score twice themselves to close to within 26-21, but a long, punishing run from Jan Monrad down to the Bayonne 5M line would relieve some of the pressure. Bayonne did not recover from that turnabout and the Sir would signal the end of the game.
With the departures of Tony Jones, Alex Giraffe-a-pillow and Carlos Stalgis, Morris has been without a selfish bastard. Can Jan assume that lofty title? Time will tell, but that discussion will have to be tabled until next Fall, when the Masters will attempt to extend our 1 game winning streak.