Some may have been to Honolulu and spent some time on Waikiki Beach. Others may have been to New York City and spent some time on Randall’s Island. Only the luckiest of us have been to both. As a public service, I offer this travelogue for you to decide where your next vacation destination should be.
On Waikiki Beach, you can stroll along the white sand, formed by generations of seashells and coral. On Randall’s Island, as you walk across the fields, a spray of black pellets kicks up, formed from the recycling of generations of truck and auto tires.
The local populace
On Waikiki beach, hard-bodies with 6 packs and soft-bodies with insulated 6 packs are on full display in all shapes, sizes and colors. Between matches on the athletic fields of Randall’s Island, the same assortment is also on display, but due to uncertain weather conditions, it may not be visible for long.
The local flora
On Waikiki, palm trees sway in the ocean breezes and banyan trees offer welcome relief from the sun, as surfers ride the waves from morning until night. Sunscreen and coconut aromas tease the nostrils. On Randall’s? Garbage scows ride the tide down the East River on their wave to an ocean burial. Your nostrils are lucky if there is NO aroma.
Enjoy an umbrella drink and watch the sun dip into the Pacific while on Waikiki Beach. Pop open a cold beer under the Triborough Bridge and watch the fading sun create a colorful backdrop for the Manhattan skyline.
The rugby celebrities
Go to the beach in Honolulu and you may spot rugby innovator and Australian legend David “the man for the job” Knox coming in from the ocean and adjusting his blonde mane after a quick dip in the Pacific. On Randall’s Island, you may spot David “the man for the cookbook” Martin adjusting his short-hairs after relieving himself in the waters of Hells Gate.
Check into a hotel in Honolulu and you may get lei’d. Check into Trump Plaza in Manhattan and you will get tapp’d.
Who doesn’t like fried dough rolled in sugar? The Italian immigrants provided the New York area with Zeppoles, hot balls of deliciousness about the size of a beer pong ball. Portuguese immigrants, brought in to work the pineapple fields of Hawaii, brought us malasadas. Similar to zeppoles, only the size of a tennis ball. Seriously, NOBODY wins (or loses) this category.
Due to the varying weather conditions of the NE United States, New York will import the bulk of their pineapple and tropical fruit from Central and South America. Hawaii? Due to the rising costs, they import all their fruit also. Maybe after President Trump is done saving the coal-mining jobs in West Virginia, he can turn his attention to saving the pineapple jobs in Hawaii.
Hawaii is the birthplace of Barack Obama. Randall’s Island is home to the NYC Firefighting Academy, but also home to a Mental Health hospital for the criminally insane and across the East River from Trump Plaza.